free pitch roaster

Paste your pitch.
get it roasted.

AI gives you 5 specific reasons your pitch is getting deleted. Then writes the one line that would have closed the deal.

brutal · specific · 30 seconds · free

Roast me. Be specific.

Paste your last UGC pitch (or one you're about to send). AI tells you exactly why it's not landing and what the brand actually needed to read.

Your pitch

your pitch isn't stored. email used only to send results + maybe one follow-up.

The roast analyzing...

That roast was free. Now imagine never writing one of those again.

CloserAI is the system that wrote the fix you just read. It's a Claude prompt + knowledge files trained on $1.2M+ in real enterprise sales. Paste any brand DM. Get the exact words that close.

See CloserAI →

paid product · $297 founding · or keep using the roaster forever, free

See an example roast first

Want to see what the AI actually returns? Tap to open.

Demo pitch (intentionally bad)

"Hi! I love your brand and I'd love to work with you guys! I create UGC content and would be happy to send you my rates if you're interested. Let me know if interested! Thanks!"

The roast

"i love your brand" — every brand gets 47 of these per day. You've told me nothing about what you actually love, which signals you copy-pasted this to 100 brands this morning.
"i'd love to work with you guys" — cool, so would 10,000 other creators. You haven't told me WHY you specifically.
"i create UGC content" — this is like a doctor saying "I do medicine." What KIND? What results have you driven?
"i'd be happy to send you my rates if interested" — you're asking ME to do extra work before you've given me a reason to care.
"let me know if interested" — you've given me nothing to BE interested in. No portfolio link, no past results, no specific concept for MY brand.

The one line that would have worked

"I drove 127 sales for [competitor brand] with recipe-hook UGC that solves the 'what's for dinner' panic — attaching the top performer and one concept specific to your new [product line] if you're testing creators this quarter."

Now scroll up and paste your own.

how it works

3 steps. 30 seconds.

Paste your pitch

The one you actually sent. Or the one you're about to send. Be honest — that's the only way the roast helps.

Get the 5-point roast

AI flags exactly what made the brand scroll past. Vague openers, missing proof, no specific ask, generic praise — the whole list.

iii

See the fix

One single line you could have sent instead. The line that opens conversations instead of getting deleted.